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ChicoHarris3
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Looking back, what are you glad you didn't go to jail for? |
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27 years ago tonight, my buddy Boyette and my ownself rode deep from Tupelo into the black Mississippi night with a cooler of Budweiser Light and a can of
spray paint, changing road signs on the Natchez Trace Parkway. The Clash were playing in New Orleans the next night and we were changing "Jackson,"
"Kosciusko," etc. signs to "CLASH: 355 MILES" and "CLASH: 327 MILES" and so on.
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ridgereb84 |
For murdering my ex-wife. | #1 | ||
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Wait, that was another dream I had.............................nevermind.
Rick Rodriguez, Dexter McCluster's H.S. coach: "When the Florida recruiters came down
recruiting Dex, I told them they'd better sign him or he'd come back to bite them in the ass. He bit them in the ass last fall."
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RichardZinya |
Long list... | #2 | ||
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But some that pop right into my head:
1. 1999: It was the early JP game, home opener I believe, vs. Tulane. After Bloody Marys all morning and in the hot morning sun (where the student section used to be), a high school friend visiting told me that I didn't have hair on my balls if I didn't go down on the field and say hello to some of the Tulane players that I played high school ball with. So I drunkenly walked down to the field, jumped the fence (slicing my hand open in the process and bleeding like a stuck pig) and went to say hello. After bleeding all over one of my buddies pristine white Tulane jersey, I ended up standing in front of the offence's bench soaking up their fan and drinking their gatorade, and spraying Patrick Ramsey down with a bottle of water to the face before realizing that I was about to get my ass discovered and beat down Cobra Kai style. I managed to walk back into the student section undetected, ninja-Chuck style. 2. I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your Signature ...
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Syd and Harrys |
Good thing they don't prosecute for double-clutching. | #3 | ||
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You would have been a repeat offender.
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OxpatchReb |
In my Jr High and High school years, | #4 | ||
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My buddy and I were the premier sign stealing duo in all of South LA. At one point, I had more than 35 road signs hanging in my room with another 30 or so in
his. We ran out of room on our walls and started selling them to friends. I'll wager that we cost the state/city/feds in the neighborhood of at least 75K
in wages, materials, etc to replace them. We mis-lead the parents to believe that we were finding them on the side of the roads after they had been run over,
damaged, knocked off in storms, etc. At some point, we decided it wasn't as fun or cool anymore and quit doing it. I still have a couple of signs in my
attic I think.
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ChicoHarris3 |
#5 | |||
Syd and Harrys wrote: Ah, the good ol' days! P.S. Today is Allen Ginsberg's birthday and I'm listening to "Ode To Billie Joe." |
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ChicoHarris3 |
#6 | |||
OxpatchReb wrote: The day after the last game at the old stadium, I managed to get a sign from new YANKEE STADIUM. It's at my Lafayette County house now. |
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I lost my nutt rag |
being 16 and stupid | #7 | ||
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I got pulled over for going 79 in a 45. Instead of speeding, dui, mip, open container, possession with intent to distribute (2 zones of schwag,) possession of
paraphernalia and maybe some gun violations for having pistols and a rifle; I got escorted home for my dad to beat my ass by his friend who pulled me over. He
left a reckless driving ticket that I got when I woke up the next day.
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ChicoHarris3 |
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I lost my nutt rag wrote: Damn, I got expelled in the 9th grade for sending a bomb threat to the school, but you really dodged a bullet! |
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Blame A Hero |
Dropping the commode off the Robinson Road bridge over I-20 on Senior prank night. | #9 | ||
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Well, I actually didn't do the deed, but I kept watch at the top of the bridge while said porcelain throne was carried up and dropped.
I was paid back in full years later when a kid rolled a boulder off a railroad bridge and dented the hood of my Mazda. |
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JimHalpert |
Public drunk/MIP in Madison after MRA's Homecoming | #10 | ||
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my sophomore year of high school.
Also, being absolutely blitzed and walking down the middle of the main drag in Cozumel at 4 a.m. with a box of Triscuits and a sixpack of Tecate while looking for our buddy who disappeared with two ugly chicks at Senor Frogs earlier in the night. We kept stopping taxis and asking them if they'd seen a white guy with two white girls. They would just look at us funny and say "He went that way", and point farther down the road. We were also propositioned by a topless prostitute in the passenger seat of a car. We declined, for we were on an epic quest to find our friend who was somewhere on the island having a threesome with two ugly chicks. We didn't find him, and he showed back up about noon the next day.
Your favorite sports team scores a game tying point, you find a dollar in the street, you see someone you hate get their ass kicked in public, all of these blissful moments deserve, nay, demand the most communal of public displays of pleasure: The Landshark. |
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ChicoHarris3 |
Brookhaven cops | #11 | ||
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27 years ago this morning, I woke up in the parking lot of a Shell gasoline station in New Orleans.
Wayne the Human was in the Subaru with me. We had been to see the Clash at the Warehouse the night before and Lee Dorsey opened. On one of Dorsey's songs, he sang, "...and I shot her" and pulled out a starter's pistol, shot it, and threw it into the crowd. Wayne the Human caught the pistol and stuck it in his pocket. After the show, he threw it in the back floorboard of the Subaru. As we headed back up I-55 towards Tupelo, Wayne the Human wanted to stop at Brookhaven and jump in the pool at the Holiday Inn. We parked, and when he got out, he noticed the starter's pistol in the back floorboard. He picked it up, pulled he trigger and it went off with a loud bang. We laughed and he threw it back into the back seat. Wayne the Human headed toward the pool and I leaned back in the passenger's seat and was soon asleep. There was a bag of pleasure in the glove compartment. I was wakened by a voice demanding: "Where's your gun?!" I opened my eyes as a large, older black cop was pulling me out of the Subaru. I quickly figured what had happened and quickly started explaining. He examined the starter's pistol, told me some maids had heard a gunshot, looked out a window, saw a couple of freaks with a gun and called the cops. I told him the Lee Dorsey story and we shared a laugh. "Tell you what," he said, "Sit here in the back of my car, let me get your buddy and you boys better head on up to Tupelo." "No problem," I said as I got in the back of his squad car, thankful it was a older, black cop. My experience with law enforcement was that I liked the deal I got from black cops better than that that I got from those of another shade. I was sitting there in the police car, watching the black cop and Wayne the Human come around the corner of the building, laughing, when I spied another Brookhaven police car speed around the corner. It stopped quick and a young white cop got out quick. The black cop and Wayne the Human were stopped, talking. Wayne the Human was probably telling him about the Clash show. The white cop opened the driver's door of the Subaru and looked around, felt under the seat and moved on to do the same to the back seats. I thought about the bag of pleasure in the glove compartment and I about shit all over myself. The white cop was just finishing up on the back passenger's side when the black cop let me out of the squad car and --I'm not making this up-- the white cop opened the passenger's side front door and I slid in, saying, "Thanks. Let's go, Wayne The Human." As we pulled away toward I-55, the older black cop was laughing and waving, while the young white cop was standing there with his hands on his hips. |
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Quick Reply
Replies
| Looking back, what are you glad you didn't go to jail for? | Jun 3, 2009 8:39 AM | ChicoHarris3 |
| For murdering my ex-wife. | Jun 3, 2009 8:58 AM | ridgereb84 |
| Long list... | Jun 3, 2009 9:02 AM | RichardZinya |
| Good thing they don't prosecute for double-clutching. | Jun 3, 2009 9:39 AM | Syd and Harrys |
| Re: Looking back, what are you glad you didn't go to jail for? | Jun 3, 2009 9:58 AM | ChicoHarris3 |
| In my Jr High and High school years, | Jun 3, 2009 9:46 AM | OxpatchReb |
| Re: Looking back, what are you glad you didn't go to jail for? | Jun 3, 2009 10:22 AM | ChicoHarris3 |
| being 16 and stupid | Jun 3, 2009 10:43 AM | I lost my nutt rag |
| Re: Looking back, what are you glad you didn't go to jail for? | Jun 3, 2009 11:40 AM | ChicoHarris3 |
| Dropping the commode off the Robinson Road bridge over I-20 on Senior prank night. | Jun 4, 2009 12:35 PM | Blame A Hero |
| Public drunk/MIP in Madison after MRA's Homecoming | Jun 4, 2009 12:48 PM | JimHalpert |
| Brookhaven cops | Jun 5, 2009 9:15 PM | ChicoHarris3 |
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