And, whilst I have Your attention.....
This stupid tennis cock tease scheme You've got going with the whole top 10 or top 5 every year since Andy Kennedy was working the door at Bell Bottoms in B'ham yet not a single NCAA championship? Lame. I'll let You in on a little secret. Outside of Billy Chadwick, the cookie lady, a bunch of euro trash assholes and StantheCaddy, no one gives two shits about Ole Miss tennis. You're wasting Your time with that. Consider my advice a favor and know that I am quite aware of the fact that I will be repaid in dividends of shitbuckets over the next few months.
Speaking of the next few months, I'm on the edge of my seat wondering what You have in store for us in June. How will it all go down this time? Obviously, we both know the final outcome. But, got any hints as to how it will play out? Every year, I think You fuckers will have used up all of Your creative holy juices. Yet, every year, You manage to come back with one more trick up Your sleeve and impress the hell out of me. I don't know if You're taking requests this early in the season, but I'd personally like to see us lose in game 3 of an Oxford Super Regional via a walk-off Grand Slam. And, if You want to spice it up a little, let us have a 3-0 lead and a no-hitter going into the 9th. If I've learned anything dealing with Your sorry immortal asses, it's how to go down in style.
This shit never gets old for You. Does it? I guess if those dumbfucks on the Spirit ever wised up to Your ways as I have, You'd finally get bored and move on to another fan base. Those poor saps are so naive and blind, they're actually scared to death we're going to fall off the map this season because of losing a close series at TCU and dropping a couple of midweek games. But, then, they don't know You like I do. We all know that would just be way too damn easy. Don't we, Sports Gods? Well, fuck this. Six o'clock comes bad early in the morning. If You see G.A.Y. out anywhere this weekend, tell Him I tried His Yocona sauce recipe this week and it was a hit at Someone's house.
Oh yeah, one last thing. Nice touch with the Zimmerman allusion to end the game tonight. That was truly special......Asshole.